College Life

We're ENGAGED!!!!!!!

2010-10-23T07:24:00.001-07:00

So as of last night I am officially someone's fiance!!! YIPEE!!! We started talking about marriage a few nights ago... We came to realize that that there is one break in April that is a week. Well, my dream wedding would be in Nauvoo, Illinois so to cram a wedding, plus 2 receptions (one in FL an one in Missouri) all in a week would be way too much. After lots of prayer and decisions in two days, we realized December was our best bet. So what better time for the family to get together than for a wedding at Christmas!! The date is December 21st!! YIPEE!! I've never been so happy in my life! It helps so much to have a supportive family who is excited for me even though everything has moved really fast. I think it would be really hard to have waited another 6 months after knowing that we wanted to be with each other and especially with my crazy schedule and not getting to spend tons of time together. He's a really amazing man. Everything I could possibly ever ask for and more. I am unbelievably excited to spend eternity with Michael Paul Egloff!!

So here's the story of how it all happened... Well, obviously I knew it was coming just didn't know when. Yes, he called my dad :) Wish they could have met beforehand!! He asked me to go eat dinner with him and we both LOVE sushi which is a great thing!! It was fun and we got in the car and he told me he had something for me. So he pulls out a Jensens Jewelers bag and I'm thinkin no way!! Well I open up the ring box and it has a piece of Ghiradelli chocolate in it! He's so NOT funny lol. I asked him where he was headed and he said he wanted to go on a walk. We get back to Rexburg and head up to the gardens on campus. He starts power walking and I'm practically running to catch up with him. I say, "Uh this walk is enjoyable" and he goes oh! haha. So we slow down and get up to this patio with a bench swing and as you can see there are flowers and what not. He tells me to sit down and when I look down to move the flowers out of the way, I look up to him being on his knee. I think my heart melted!! I couldn't have asked for anything more! It was PERFECT :) Luckily, his roommate loves taking pictures so he helped Michael out and caught it all on camera :)

It's so funny how life works though. I remember driving though Missouri and thinking WOW this state is boring!! So NOT marrying someone from this state. He's from Missouri. I NEVER wanted to get proposed to in the gardens on campus. And I remember meeting him and thinking he was really cute and finding out he had just got off his mission. I said I was NEVER dating him because he was going to be wanting to get married ASAP!! HaHA! And of course I told myself I would NEVER marry someone unless I knew them for at least 6 months! It's funny how when you think you know exactly what you want God gives you a wake up call and reminds you that He's in charge and actually knows what you need/want.

So about Michael... He is from Hartsburg, Missouri. He served his mission in Detroit. He's 6 foot tall so no worries mama!! He opens all of my doors. He treats me how I've always needed to be treated. He has more patience than anyone I've ever met. Especially since he can put up with me!! Has some really cool eyes!! They have a goldish ring around his iris which is so cool. He loves football and it's pretty funny to watch him jump up and down when his team is winning. He would do anything for me in a heart beat literally!! He likes talking about his feelings and stuff which is a good thing since I'm not good about that. He's my heart!! I really can't picture him not in my life. I never saw this coming but it has been the biggest blessing in my life!! I love you Michael Paul Egloff!!

We're finally dating officially!!

2010-10-10T17:47:00.000-07:00

So this morning as I was going to my car to go to church, there was a note on it. It told me to meet him after church somewhere! So I went there and there he was all dressed up in a suit looking handsome ;) and he asked me to be his girlfriend!! Then we met this really cute stray lab and fed him salt & vinegar chips (that's all we had to feed him) and went back to his apartment where he had made me Chicken Alfredo which was yum!! Needless to say, I'm one VERY happy girl! School is going great but very stressful! There is only 9 weeks left though so it has flown by so far! I love both of my jobs and I technically have a third one grading papers! My life is crazy busy and adding a boy to the equation makes it even crazier!! But I'm not complaining :) It's nice to feel wanted and having someone tell you they think you're the best!! I'll take it while I can!! Love and miss you family!!

Life lately!

2010-09-23T10:39:00.000-07:00

So I decided to come to school for the Fall semester which I haven't done yet! There are SO many people here right now! I'm taking 5 classes and have 2 jobs which I LOVE!! They are a lot of fun and some of the time I can do homework while I'm there which is really nice. I'm getting really burnt out from school and am very ready to graduate! I have 4 more semesters which I keep telling myself but it doesn't make it easier. I hope I gain so motivation sometime soon! I'm loving it though! I have new roommates except 2 and they are cool. I'm not really ever home but from what I know of them, they are awesome! It's nice to kinda be on my own. Of course mom and dad help me out a TON but it's nice having a place I can call "home"! I do miss my family a ton like always! Especially my puppy Riley :) I have 12 more weeks of this semester which the first 3 have already flew by! I love how fast school goes by here... I should be doing homework right now that's due in less than an hour but I really don't feel like it. My brain is really just fried! I can't concentrate on anything to save my life! I really need some advice on that... Anyways, hope everything is going good with everyone! That's pretty much it for me :)

She's 20!

2010-08-17T14:39:00.001-07:00

Ok so I've been 20 for 2 months now so I'm behind on writing this... So guess what? I've learned a lot this year!! Surprising huh?? lol. Well I've really come to rely on my family a TON this year. They are really amazing and I love being able to look up to them. I figured out that sometimes it's better to just keep my mouth shut when I really didn't want to. People don't think the way that I do and no matter how much I explain the way I think, they will never get it. I gotta give people slack because being raised down south is a different ball game than being raised out west. I found that when people pretend they want to hang out with you but never show up, to let it be than get mad. I guess it's ok to be shady sometimes. I'll never really understand that! I figured out that forgiveness is a two-way street and even if you forgive someone doesn't mean that they do the same. People can make promises but that doesn't mean they'll keep them. I really came to realize I have to believe in myself and rely on myself always. I came to find that I can handle my own problems and some times I may want/need advice, I pray to find out what I should do. Coming to rely on the Lord was the thing I really needed this past year. Complaining doesn't really help anything so there's no point. Talking about your feelings isn't near as hard as I thought it was.

For life at the moment... I'm in FLORIDA!! I have a 6 week break from college before I have to go back which is WAY nice! I've spent 2 weeks at the lake which was AWESOME! My cousins came to see me and it was a lot of fun tubing! I got to see my sisters and Aunt Tami :) I also got to make my lil nieces Halloween costumes which turned out really cute! Dylan's was too small which was a BUMMER :( We had a cousin slumber party which was fun and I got to spend tons of time with Tabitha before she started working. I missed my family tons and I'm glad to spend a few weeks with them!!

Grudges!!

2010-07-18T16:13:00.000-07:00

I sometimes wonder how these ever came about... I wonder why instead of people talking when sometimes that can fix the problem they hold a grudge. I like to think that you'd rather go up to someone's face and tell them how you feel than tell everyone else how that make you feel. I guess sometimes it's just better to be nice. But what happens when being nice isn't the story anymore? What happens when that grudge has built up so much inside of you that all you want to do is turn to violence? I don't like grudges. That's all I ever see them do. Turn in to violence. Grudges = a long time of anger. Grudges = misery. Someone once said that when you are angry at someone, they are closer to God than you are. So why do that? Why not be the bigger person and forgive them. For some reason I've never had that problem. I've been pushed around, shoved around, lied to and for some reason I can pick up the little pieces that end up being left and make them fit back together. I can let go of my anger and be the bigger person because after all, I'm no where near being perfect! I can't criticize and ridicule someone for lying to my face because I've done that before. I can't get mad at someone for ditching me for someone else, because I've done that before. I've made the same mistakes that other people make to me. Call it karma or call it life. Because it's my eyes, it's a lesson learned. I hate people being mad at me and I hate being mad at people. I want to go out of this life saying, "Well not everyone loved nor liked me but the people who did, I tried my hardest to put their happiness first and make sure they knew I loved them." Isn't that all that matters? If I have a problem with someone and know it'll fester inside of me I'm not scared to say something. I want people to be the same way with me. Come talk to me if I hurt your feelings. Let me know so I can learn and not let it happen again. If we go about keeping all of our feelings in, then no one will ever understand why you do the things you do and say. I know that's hard for a lot of people. But don't be afraid to let someone know how you feel! Just say it. You feel better and they'll know how you feel. That way it doesn't lead to a grudge or an ugly argument!! After all, life's too short to spend it upset at people for the wrong doings they've done to you... Keep in mind, you're not perfect either :)

Lately...

2010-07-06T09:10:00.000-07:00

Well I haven't blogged in a while! I have 3 weeks left in this semester before I get to go home to Florida!! 18 days until I'm home :) WOO-HOO!! This semester hasn't been too hard. Started my official Computer Information Technology major. It is a lot of fun and I have met a lot of new people. We started up a study group for one of the classes and it's a lot of fun! I love meeting new people! This past weekend I went to a puddle of water that's considered a lake up here! It didn't go past my thigh which cracked me up! But hey, its water and that's all that matters to me. I saw my first leeches EVER at that lake! Those things are super gross! I was freaked out and didn't dare get back in the water again. I don't really know what else to talk about. I'll try and put up pictures later :)

Smallwood...

2010-06-06T18:16:00.000-07:00

What does this name mean? To me, it means someone who makes the best out of EVERYTHING!! To me, it's someone who takes their trials with a smile. To me, it's someone who doesn't let anyone bring them down. To me, it's someone who loves with EVERYTHING they have, regardless of how they are treated. To me, it's someone who ALWAYS overcomes. Someone set a good primacy and we've forgotten that. Yeah maybe they made a few mistakes but you won't hear a bad word come out of their mouth. They made some dumb mistakes but they loved regardless. Maybe they are stupid. They helped create satan. Satan wants more than ever to destroy us. Satan wants us to fall apart. If anything would make IT happy, it would be to watch my family fall apart. If there is anything a Smallwood should do, it's prove we are better than that. Show IT we are better than that. Show IT we don't care what IT does. We are a SMALLWOOD!! We stand strong. We love more every time something does happen. Our lives aren't bad. Yeah we have to deal with some dumb things, but that's life. We pick up and move on. We have faith and hope that things will get better. WE stay STRONG! WE hold it together. WE have each other's back and stick together to the end. So why are we falling apart now? IT has been around for years. IT has tried to destroy us from the beginning. So now we decide to give up? Now we decide to stop trying? If anything we should be fighting harder. Don't let satan(IT) win!! I can't sit back and watch IT destroy my families lives anymore. TRY HARDER!! NO GIVING UP!! Even if you're last name isn't Smallwood anymore, you're still a SMALLWOOD!! YOU STAND TALL!! YOU HELP EACH OTHER!! WE NEED YOU TO STAY STRONG!! WE NEED OUR MOMS, DADS, COUSINS, SISTERS, BROTHERS, AUNTS, UNCLES.... HOLD IT TOGETHER and if not for yourself, it's for me, it's for your kids, it's for your best friend which is your husband. WE NEED YOU!!! PLEASE DON'T GIVE UP!!! WE LOVE YOU!! Stand up for yourself! Don't let IT bring you down anymore. REMEMBER YOU'RE A SMALLWOOD!!!

Mondays...

2010-05-24T12:14:00.000-07:00

Why are Mondays always the most difficult day? I dread waking up! Is it because Sunday I just lounge around all day relaxing and stuff?? It makes no sense. If you make it through the Monday without too much bad stuff happening, the week is perfectly fine. It's just getting through Monday. That word hurts my ears!!! hahahaha! Random thought... Probably because right now I just want to go back to sleep even though I have 8 hours of sleep in me. Shirley Jean is pro at naps and I think it's wearing off on me! Yes mom everything is still always your fault ;) jk I LOVE YOU!!

Almost My Birthday!

2010-05-21T10:00:00.000-07:00

Woah!! A whole 'nother year has past me by. I have grown up so much! I was reading my journal from a year ago and the funny part is that it was always about dumb boys. I was just laughing but the things I was starting to realize I fully understand and realize now! I love the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints so much. In June it will be exactly 2 years since I was truly converted and realized how much the Gospel meant to me. That was the best decision that I ever made. Plus, a few months later I moved in with the Warrens and changed so much more! I couldn't have asked for a better opportunity to get out and explore the world. I'm so thankful that I did and that they were willing to take me in :) Then, I got accepted to BYU-I and wow how I grew up fast! Who knew living with 5 girls could be so complicated?? Especially without having family you could drive to see and get a break(which I still go see the Warrens in those times. ) I really gained my testimony that semester and realized that there will always be people who don't like me even if they believe the same things I do. Plus, I realized that wasn't important anyways. My family would always be there to help and support me. I don't think I've ever been so close to the Lord as I am here. He is such a big influence in my life now. I can look up into the sky and He is the first thing that pops into my head. What a peace I receive from knowing that I'm never alone even if my family is over 3000 miles away. I can hit my knees and even though sometimes it isn't instant comfort, I receive it eventually. Life gets easier everyday in that aspect. I love being that close to the Lord. I started the BOM again in January and am almost through with Alma. I read the scriptures daily! (which I use to never do) and have missed maybe 2 days since the beginning of this year. I almost have the morning prayers a ritual but not quite. My evening prayers are though. I really want my parents to know how grateful I am for them. I wouldn't be the person I am today if they would've stepped in and not let me become my own person. They pay for all of my schooling and help me in anyway they possibly can. I will be forever grateful for that. Plus the examples my 2 beautiful sisters set for me. I love my family so much!! Besides going crazy without Riley, I ached to be home with my family. I know that this is where I need to be right now. Of course after college I'll be back in the south. That will always be my home :) It's so crazy to take a step back and look at the things you've accomplished in one year and the disappointments and things that you can change. Well since I'm 20, I guess I can't be goofy anymore... Wait 21 is the official "adult" age so maybe next year ;) I LOVE YOU FAMILY!! Can't wait to be home in a few months!! To be exact, 9 weeks on Sunday!!

The Bucket List!!

2010-05-20T08:20:00.000-07:00

So I decided to write a few of the things I have on my bucket list!! I wanna make sure I remember them while I'm thinking about it!

1. Go Skydiving DONE
2. Go Skinny Dipping DONE
3. Get married in the Temple
4. Have some little babies
5. Live in the good ole' south :)
6. Go on a mission
7. Go cliff jumping!!!
8. Go scuba diving
9. Climb a water tower DONE
10. Eat a whole little Caesars hot-n-ready by myself.

Family!!!

2010-05-12T13:56:00.000-07:00

Ok so I feel like talking about my family because I got reminded of President Monson's talk when he told the story of the person in the hospital who he thought he should go see but waited until after the meeting. When he arrived to the hospital the nurse told him the person had passed away and that he was the last person they were asking for. So I want to let my family KNOW how much I love them!! And these notes are in absolutely no order so don't get mad if you're not at the top and if I don't write about you, I promise that I love you but I have a pretty BIG family!!

Heavenly Father
I could not ask for someone better to be there for me ALWAYS!! Yesterday I was reading in John when Jesus was talking to His apostles and telling them that He was going to be alone but not totally alone because His Heavenly Father would still be there. That stood out to me so much. Sometimes I do feel alone and I hit my knees and feel that instant comfort. I don't know what I would do without someone in my life who gives me what I NEED even when I tend to think my plan is better. He puts me right back in my place and makes me realize that He really knows better. He is so loving and forgiving.

Jesus Christ
Can there be anyone more selfless than OUR Brother? Who else overcame this world perfectly? WoW! I am so glad that He gets to judge me and fairly because He has felt EVERYTHING we will ever feel. I'm so thankful that He came into this world in a stable and left it on a cross. What a life!! I could never fully picture how hard that must have been. I could never thank him enough!

Shirley Jean :)
I ABSOLUTELY adore you! I think I'm going to start crying now. I've never met a stronger woman in my life. Such a beautiful woman who is so stubborn and stands her ground no matter what people think. I couldn't ask for a better mom to look up to. She showed me the way and let me become my own person at the same time. She let me make my own mistakes but stood behind me the whole time. Even when sometimes I was really stupid. I am so glad I get to spend eternity with her. She is so selfless and is always doing things for her children and putting herself last. I pray I can be at least half the mom she didn't have to be. I don't know anyone else in this world who has been through as much as she has, yet she still pushes on. I love watching all of it happen and watching her grow from the trials she goes through. She is my hero. The one person I know I can call crying and even though I'm super dramatic she still listens. I love when she calls me just to talk. I loved growing up with a mom who seriously had ADHD and never stopped. She was always busy with something and it was always for somebody else. Even though sometimes I know she feels like no one notices her efforts, I'm always watching :) I know I don't thank you enough for everything you do but THANK YOU!! I'm proud to call you MY mother!!

Zackary Vincent
Oh how I love you dad! You have always been such a hard worker. We had such a blast driving me up here. I could tell you were so worried I would come home after taking off a week at work. But hey I didn't do it! I love it up here and I'm so thankful you work your tail off to pay for me to stay up here. I'm glad you know so much and I can always call you for advice and you say exactly what I need to hear. I will never forget us skydiving and we were both nervous but it was on both of our bucket list so we had to! I would not have done it with anybody else. I get so excited to tell people that I did that with my dad. I love how you always know what to say in situations and I will never forget that day in the hospital when mom opened her eyes and the tears that swelled up in your eyes. You are so strong and not a single tear fell from your face that I saw until that moment. You stayed strong for me when I was falling apart. Well here come the tears. I couldn't express enough the love that I have for you. You are such an awesome example of the man that I want one day. I love how you always played games with us and thought family was so important, ALWAYS! I love the kisses I use to get even when I was 15. I loved family vacations and you making sure everyone had fun. Even when you use to cover my head with a pillow and farted on me I knew you were just expressing your love for me in the way you knew how. I'm more than lucky to have such a wonderful dad!! I'm glad you have faith in me.

Tabitha!!
WoW!! You were the BEST big sister to look up to. You definitely set the primacy at the best level there is. I love looking at your blog and watch your babies grow up. You're such a great mama! I know we never got to be super close because by the time I hit my teens, you were married. But I know one day we'll be on the same page and be able to relate to each other better. You've always cared and when I was going through my rut you were there to try and get my life's secrets out. Even though I never really told you, it was nice having someone there telling me I was stupid which is what I needed to hear. You are so adorable and crack me up! I love that none of us are good at joking even though we all think we're funny. I love you!!

Shannon...
Well sister dear... We got along well as kids huh? HAHA!! It took us a while to actually start liking each other. That's some tough love but I love you even more for it. I know we had a rough time but I loved getting to know you better this past fall. The gym was fun and learning more about eating healthy and exercising. You were a great personal trainer:) I love ya sis!! You are wonderful and beautiful!! I like playing on Skype with you and you kicking my butt at Battle Ships. It's still tons of fun listening to you smack talk!

Cassidy
What an AWESOME little sister!! You are so amazing and beautiful. Stay strong! I am ALWAYS here to listen and I promise to be the best big sister I can be miles and miles away. I love talking to you and your singing texts and pictures of you. I hope that I am a good example for you to look up to. I want the best for you and I hope you know that. I will always keep things between us. And when I need somebody to talk to you always listen. You are just so cute and I can't wait to watch you grow up and become the beautiful little sister that is 20 times better than I'll ever be. I LOVE YOU CHUGGY!!

Zackary
Oh Bubba!! You are something else:) I loved growing up with you and helping each other stay out of trouble. I loved our conversations we had on the way to classes and getting to know you better. I hope you stay strong and realize that you are a wonderful man. I hope one day you can get out of your rut for good and be that big brother I always looked up to growing up. You are one of the sweetest men I know. I wish you could see what everyone else in our family sees in you. Life is so short and I don't want you to miss out on anything!! Miss and love you...

Aunt Tami!!
The best sequence partner I could ask for! We are always kicking butt! I love playing just you and I too. It gets so late and we are just chowing down on salsa and swiss rolls and milk. What a combination?? haha!! You are so wonderful!! I miss your guts and can't wait to get home and kick your butt!! Thanks for listening to me when I need someone. Oh and for being able to relate to me with the crazy lady. It's nice that someone understands it.

Brees
Oh my dear!! I love you so much! We ARE survivors! I wrote you a really long letter that I have a feeling you'll cry in but it lets you know how much I care. You are such a wonderful person and I hope you won't ever let anyone tell you different. Stay strong and you'll get the letter soon :) MMWWAAHH!!!!

Tay-Shay
TAYLOR SWIFT ROCKS OUR SOCKS!! You are such a beautiful person inside and out. What an example to me! I see you standing your ground through high school. You have so much confidence in yourself and could care less what people think. Plus, you're just ADORABLE!! I love spending time with you and singing and sewing. Even though you don't like it anymore, one day you'll come to remember why you're so glad you learned how. I miss you so much. I'm so jealous that you're always going to the beach. Stay strong dear... I wish I could tell you life got easier but it doesn't. You know who you are and are so kind and loving you won't have a problem with college life. I can't wait to see what life has in store for you!!

Hay-Hay
I miss hanging with you! I love playing BOBS with you and kicking people's butts! We ROCK at that game. I hope you're having the time of your life in high school. Love ya:)

Kay-Kay!
I am so glad that you're having fun and I'm so jealous you're that close to the beach. I look up to you SO MUCH! You crack me up and are so go with the flow. I know the man that sweeps you off your feet will be wonderful because you are. Don't settle for anything less because you deserve EVERYTHING and more. Your prince charming will come so get busy with life and stop worrying about it. The moment that you realize you are on your own, he will come along. Or so I hear. But we'll both see if that comes true(even though I'm not ready for it haha). I can officially say I've come to that point and I have that confidence in myself. I don't need any boy in my life to make me realize that I'm beautiful. It's such a peaceful feeling too. Just keep praying for that and I promise it will come. I started getting into service and staying busy with school. Then all of the sudden my worries went away. Then one night I prayed really hard for comfort and confidence in myself that I can do this all by myself. I don't think I've ever had such a more comforting feeling after I laid in the bed for 30 minutes just thinking about everything. I gave myself a big pep talk and all of the sudden I changed the way I looked at myself. I am happier than I've ever been. I have way more confidence and my problems aren't even a big deal anymore. You are such an awesome, beautiful and smart woman. You are an example to everyone in our family. I hope you know that! We all talk about you (in a good way of course) and how we are all so proud of you. You deserve so much out of this life. I'm glad you're my cuz!!

Randoulph!
Oh boy how I'm so proud of you! I read your blog a lot and am so happy that you are having a great time! I miss you!!

Aunt Janis.
You are such a cute woman! I love when you come spend time with us. You have had a hard life too and you still stay strong. Keep holding your head high. I am glad that I have an Aunt who doesn't let life get the best of her. There is some tough blood in the Black family. Ya'll seem to handle trials really well and always come out better. I LOVE YA!

Seany boy & Chellie!! (The Warrens)
You guys are AMAZING!! You love your kids more than life. It was way awesome living with you guys! I will never forget all the memories I have. I hope life gives you everything. You are such a great example to me. I can't imagine how awesome it must have been to cross the Ironman finish line with your best friend. What an accomplishment!! You guys saved me from one of the hardest trials I'll probably ever go through in my life. I'm so glad you gave me the opportunity to get out and see what else the world holds. I couldn't have asked for a better blessing. I love you two!!

Ok so I've been writing this for too long and I have a tutoring session in 10 minutes but I will try and add some more later if I get time!!

I LOVE MY FAMILY!! EVERY ONE OF YOU EVEN IF YOU AREN'T IN MY BLOG!!

Goals this semester...

2010-04-13T23:41:00.000-07:00

1. I'm seriously going to start working out 4 days a week and making sure that I at least run the other days. Which means... join the track team :)
2. Get morning prayers to be a daily ritual...
3. Really stay on task and no procrastination so I can get some sleep!!
4. Gain my own confidence and not have to have some boy tell me that I'm good enough!! (Already done but make sure I keep up with it)
5. Eat healthier so the gym will actually help me lose weight!
6. Make sure to let the people I love and care about know that.
7. Read at least 1 Nicholas Sparks book...
8. Save at least $10 a month!
9. Prepare to go on a mission which includes: getting a job, finishing the BOM, study with Preach My Gospel, try to get as much college behind me as I can, & make absolute sure that's what I want to do in a year from now!!
10. Continue working on becoming who I've always wanted to be!!
11. Read all the general conference talks that I didn't get to watch when the Ensign gets here.
12. Meet lots of new people and be myself!!
13. Don't get stressed out over stupid stuff. Take time and enjoy life because it only happens once!!

Ha! I ended on Tay Swift's fav number!! RANDOM :)

Lessons Learned

2010-03-28T21:12:00.000-07:00

So... Today in church, we were talking about trials and how we receive personal revelation which really go hand-in-hand if you ask me. They were saying how trials are for our own good and for us to learn and grow. Well I've been calling on the Lord a lot lately in almost every decision that I seem to make. And I happen to be one of those people that want something drastic to happen so then I'll know for sure that's what I should do. But it doesn't really work that way regardless of how bad I want it to. So I'm really learning to trust the Lord and to be very observant and after I ask for something seriously pay attention to my answer because it could come as something small or from someone else. This kind of relates to trials because when I pray for a decision at the time, it seems like it's the right thing to do but then after a while I come to realize it's not. Then I sit back wondering why I would've gotten a certain answer if that's not what I wanted. Well today in class, we learned that maybe we aren't going in with the right intentions and we want to hear a certain answer from God so we keep praying for the same thing knowing we got the answer but it wasn't the one we wanted. So we keep praying and praying until we think we get the one we want. THAT'S SO ME!! It just hit me in class today. I really want what I want even if it's not right for me. I always come out learning the exact same thing in every situation plus some other things. So from today on I really am going to listen to the guidance the Lord gives me because sometimes I think that it's good for me when God knows it really isn't. So instead of listening to him and avoiding a certain situation, I just throw myself into it and go with it. So lesson learned <3

LIFE HERE LATELY :)

This semester has FLOWN by literally!! haha... I only have 2 weeks left and pretty much all of my finals are this week and then I get to head to Utah to visit the Warren's :) I can't wait to watch General Conference as well!! Someone told me that I should pray for the speakers and to give them direction and to also ask questions that I wanted answered and to listen to them and receive my answers. I thought that was pretty neat because I've never thought of doing that before!!

I seriously have no clue what I would do without her!!

These cool letters she made for us for Christmas!!

Haven't taken a pics of just me in FOREVER!!!

Bein our usual selves :)

Her momma came to visit us a few weekends ago and bought us the same shoes (different colors) and same jackets (different colors as well) We had a blast and that's where I'll be spending my Spring Break!!

Start of 2010!!

2010-01-18T21:28:00.000-08:00

So I'm back up at BYU-I and have AMAZING roommates once again:) They are so much fun! Last weekend I went down to Utah (which was a lot of fun) and when I got back yesterday we had a ton of people over and they all started clappin and screamin YAY Ashlynn's home and all ran up and gave me a hug it was so adorable!! I felt wanted comin home lol! Anyway I know this semester is going to be A LOT of fun especially since we all get along!! I have 2 sets of sisters and of course Kylee is roomin with me again!! I love her so much she def keeps me sane!! I do miss my family and my boy a lot but I know I'll be back in Florida before I know it...

Kylee & I!!

Us as rappers last semester :)

Laura & I...

We decided to go on an ice cream run tonight YUM!!

~GULF HAMMOCK~

2009-09-03T14:08:00.000-07:00

Pawpaw had a 60th(i think) school year reunion and my two aunts, pawpaw, and i went. It turned out to be more fun than I had imagined! Uncle Parks had some hilraious stories to tell and I laughed the whole time!! We went explorin all around the little town of Bronson but it was worth all the drivin I did (I got stuck with drivin the whole time until we decided to go home.) Can't wait for the family reunion in October!!

Eating the lunch they had for us!

The crew!

Pawpaw, Aunt Teri, and I.

Uncle Parks, Aunt Rachel and Pawpaw! (three of the Smallwoods)

He is so precious!

This man can tell some awesome stories!! You would think you were right there with him!!

The school he went to from K-5th!

He had to go in it!!

He's so cute!!

There wasn't any stairs so I was terrified he was going to get hurt!

Pawpaw called some horses with grass and they came to him!!

His house still standin after around 100 years...

& of course he had to go in here too!!

There was bats at the celing which was enough for me and Aunt Teri so we took off runnin outside!!

He has a picture with this pose as a little boy so we retook it again...

& after driving all the crazy place I took a nap on the way home!!

!FlOrIdA!

2009-09-03T13:52:00.001-07:00

I've been home a month now and am having a blast!! It's like I never left and all my relationships haven't changed too much!! I am taking classes at the community college in Lake City and working at my mom's video store... Life is going great and here are some pictures which are very unorganized sorry!! Hope everyone had a woderful summer :)

Lots of love,
Ashes!!

One of my good friends Cece!!

Pawpaw's neck brace that he broke as a state patrol man and his weapon from war is in my lil sis's hand!

No one came ot help us with cutting out the fabrics so we turned into rebels and did it ourselves!!

I missed this puppy so much!!

We got lost in a place you don't really want to get lost in (if you know what I mean)... We found our way eventually though!!

Cooking Pawpaw breakfast! He told us we were his slaves so he wouldn't help us and then told us all of our food was nasty HAHA!!

The weekend I came home, my sis Tab had a cousin slumber party at her house! This is most of us and Taylor and Shannon's air mattress deflated HILARIOUS!!

This past Sunday we went to Tab's house again!! This is Paige... ADORABLE!!

Baby Brynlee =)

Dylan bein his usual self... goofy!!

She's so CUTE!!

Brynlee's Blessing/ Paige's B-day!!

2009-09-03T13:46:00.000-07:00

Paige had no idea what was goin on but Kelton (her cousin) just had a birthday so he knew what to do!!

My grandpa!!

Playing the classic cup game as a family!

Brynlee's blessing!!

Roomies <3

2009-07-20T08:05:00.000-07:00

So I got super dooper lucky with roommates this semester!! They are HILARIOUS and always watching out for each other!! Praying really hard does turn out to bring some amazing blessings!!

Ok across from each other is the roommates that share a bedroom!!
Names starting from left: Amber, Anny, Me. Then Jessi, Tanya, and Kylee!!

Of course us two are doing something stupid!!

This is why she got the nickname Legs!! She is so LONG :)

Man, I swear I look up to this girl so much!! She's AMAZING!!

These were all taken at the gardens on BYU-I campus!! A graduating class created the whole thing and they did a really good job it is BEAUTIFUL!!

BuSy!!

2009-06-25T07:59:00.000-07:00

Life is crazy right now!! I haven't even got around to taking many pictures but life is good!! Passing all my classes and coming home in 29 days :) WOO-FREAKIN-HOO!!! This weekend I am going to Lagoon in Utah with some friends so that should be fun... Anyhow hope everyone is doing well and having an AMAZING summer!! Love you all...

19th Birthday!

2009-06-18T23:39:00.001-07:00

I had an AMAZING birthday! I was worried being away from home on it and thought I'd get super homesick but it wasn't too bad. My roommates tried super hard to make it a lot of fun which it turned out to be!!

While I was at class, my roommates decorated my bed!! I love them :)

My birthday present!!

My bestie Marlie made me a candy card!

I live by this sign... LITERALLY!

Blowing out my candles...

At Wingers eating Concrete Pies...

I LOVE COOKIES! HAHA

Taylor Swift shirt from my daddy! I look horrible because I stayed up all night HAHA!!

This just shows how eating too much sugar can be no good!! But what would a birthday be like without hyper people?? AHAHAHA!!

Teaching Moments...

2009-05-15T23:00:00.001-07:00

You know those times when God just happens to speak through someone else? Well I've had a few of these the past couple of weeks and I don't keep a journal so this is as close as it gets for me!!

I was in my sewing class and we were learning all these techniques and I couldn't figure this 1 out and I spent over 30 minutes on it and I had to get 3 different fabrics because I kept ruining them and I was so fed up after all this time that I finally went and asked for help seeing as they had moved on and I was getting behind. Well she decides to call my entire class up there to look at it and I'm thinkin wow I messed up so bad she wants the entire class to see it!! Then she irons it and the fabric goes back to how it was before she ironed it and she said, "Do you see how her fabric went back to the way it was?" (people shook their head) and she continued... "her fabric gave up before she did that says so much about Ashlynn and how she's willing to keep going even though you can tell she's getting upset and almost ready to give up." Then she told me she'd hold my hand through it and gave me a new fabric and I finally figured it out after FOREVER!! I never knew that about myself. I mean it makes sense because it takes me so long to sew stuff because I want it to look good and be close to perfect even though I know nothings perfect in sewing!!

I was once again in sewing class and I had a super cute dress (or so I thought) on that came to my knees but I had leggins on underneath so I figured that was ok. Well when I got to my class the professor told me it wasn't appropriate but that she wouldn't ask me to leave. As I was sitting there all I could think was why in the world would I not want to go home and change?? Yeah it's a good walk but at the same time I signed a contract saying that if I attended this school I would obey the dress code regardless of any matter. So I asked the teacher if I could go home and change (this is a 2 1/2 hour class and I had another right after it). She said ok so I went home and came back and she told me that I earned her respect and most people wouldn't do that nor handle criticsm like I did. I just said that's how I was raised I reckon. Then she said if it was any professor even if I didn't have a class with them would I have went home and changed and I didn't have to think twice because duh I would. I want to obey the guidelines and even though growing up I wasn't the most modest person I realized that I've come to understand that my body is a temple. Crazy how my sewing professor teaches me so much about myself!!

I just love how we can get into our "lows" and there's always someone to pick us back up and we can never forget that we have to put our trust in God and He will take care of us even though I'm not even good at applying this I try my best. Anyhow that's a few teaching moments for me :)

Spring Semester :)

2009-05-12T11:25:00.001-07:00

I got all new roomates which they all are AMAZING!! My life is going really good I'm taking 15 credit hours but it hasn't killed me yet. The wind is crazy during the day!! Long story short one of my professors were in the hospital because her trash can lid pinned her up to her garage... I got a job as a lab assistant in the sewing lab on campus. I answer questions for people who need help with their projects in sewing classes. I love my job and I'm so grateful I decided to learn how to sew because it has benefited me A LOT!! My best friend Marlie and decided to buy fish and the 1 fish they said not to buy because it was half dead has out lived the others so we lost 5 fish in a single week!! LOL!! Oh and as you can see I'm not married yet for all those who said I would be so HA! Anyways, here are some pictures!!

After mudding :)

We had 600 balloons in this living room believe it or not! WAY FUN!!

Me and Marlz cooking Goolaush...

The apron I made out of an old pair of jeans!

The pancakes I made YUM =)

The sand dunes!

So beautiful!

On a double date at the dunes!

At the pretty Idaho Temple!

~Best Friends are like wedgies, it always feels great to pick a good one~

The 6 fishies we were so excited!

#1 to go...

Another 1 bites the dust :(

And #3...

And then 4...

We didn't take one of the 5th one!!

This picture says it all!!

Me and one of the roomates Tanya!

Friends <3

2009-04-05T18:29:00.000-07:00

So life is super crazy but I'm grateful to have a great family and a few friends that keep me on track!! I got really lucky to get a few great ones!!

~FrIeNdS aRe LiKe BrAs ClOsE tO yOuR hEaRt AnD aLl AbOuT sUpPort~ :)

Me & my good friend Marlie!!

At Jamba Juice after a swim meet :)

Laura, Robyn, Marissa, and Me!!

I will never be to big to go down the slide and I reckon Ian won't be either :)

Looking at the stars because they make me happy and remind me of home!!

What's your stroke???

2009-03-31T21:47:00.000-07:00

The poster we made for the swim championship!!

& the winner goes to the...... SPARTANS!!

Our dance party to celebrate :)

The banquet!!

------->This past weekend was definitely great!! It's so crazy to think that I've been up here for almost 4 months and next week is the ending of this semester. I have had a blast and I couldn't ask for a better way to start the college life :)<----------

Is One Happy Camper!!

2009-03-28T20:39:00.001-07:00

So this weekend I passed my Chemistry test with a 97 (I only missed 1 question) and my swim team won the Championship meet!! Glad this semester is almost over ready to be done with Chemistry and the closer it gets means the closer I am to seeing my family!! 11 days :)

Rexburg...

2009-03-25T22:20:00.000-07:00

So this past weekend was GORGEOUS!! In the 60's I got to run the track (outside) and do a bunch of back flips with some friends and to add I got to walk to the grocery store! Then BAM Sunday a blizzard and now it's pourin snow outside! WHAT IS THAT?? A taste of spring and then back to Winter this is RIDICULOUS!!!

Kids Don't Try This At Home...

2009-03-20T22:27:00.000-07:00

Another Sunday...

Well we have a microwave from the 1900s and we've tried a billion different ways to blow it up! (including putting a potato wrapped in tin foil for over 15 minutes in it but it won't die so we gave up. Then I caught the oven on fire and our house smelt HORRIBLE so we decided hey why not attempt again to blow it up!! So here is Attempt #2... Keep in mind that this was around 12 in the morning!!

And it still hasn't died! RIDICULOUS!! It does stink everytime you turn it on though :)

Exciting News!!

2009-03-18T23:45:00.001-07:00

So I'm taking a sewing class because I'm jealous of my cuz TayShay and all the stuff she makes and we are hopefully going to make our own wedding dresses together one day!! Anyhow I finished my first shirt tonight after a billion times of seam ripping it and the serger not liking me it's FINISHED!! My next project is a skirt and it matches my shirt so I'll put pics up when I'm finished with both! Anyway had to share my excitement oh and more AMAZING news :) I made a 100 on my Chemistry quiz today GO ME!!!

Sometimes you get just a lil bored....

2009-03-16T11:50:00.000-07:00

Well it all started one Sunday afternoon... The roomies and I were all bored and they decided it would be fun to braid hair so they braided Monicas. (my roomate) We were hyper for some odd reason so lets just say this is how it all began :)

The end is coming soon!!!

My Scrapbook!!

2009-02-13T13:20:00.000-08:00

So my dad took me up to Utah to spend a few months there and here is the scrapbook I made of our trip!! Definitely memories made I will NEVER forget (:

http://www.scrapblog.com/viewer/viewer.aspx?sbId=653197

College Life (:

2009-02-08T22:44:00.000-08:00

So I started college at BYU Idaho this past semester and here is some photos of my life right now!!

Me and my roomies decided to have a girl's night out all except one of them are here!!

We went to eat at Craigos which is the best pizza in town and saw Marley and me which is a really good movie!!

Me & my friend Grace (roomie next semester) got Ukuleles and now know how to play I'm Yours as a duet on them!!

My friend Becca & I on our way to the store!!

& we pretty much bought the whole store (:

The homemade pizza we made!! It turned out DELCIOUS!!

Chowing down on fondue at a party!!

Me & the girls at the Spartan 80's Dance Party...

Stephanie and I my swim partner!!

Being goofy at our swim meet! GO SPARTANS (: We won this meet!! Undefeated so far...

Me and Becca decided to have a mattress party in the living room which lasted all weekend!!

When we carried my mattress back to my apartment we didn't want to go back in forth a hundred times so we shoved the pillow and blanket in our shirts!!

At the mall modeling sunglasses!!

Grace decided she wanted a fish...

It took her FOREVER to pick one so we decided to start embarrass her which was way enertaining!!

Her first fish!!

We had a card night and I beat all of them!

I'm taking a sewing class and our first project was a pillowcase and here it is!!

Homemade caramel popcorn!! YUMMY =)

So I had to go snowshooeing for a class and it was a 6 mile hike!!

Although I have to admit this view at the top was so worth it!